For those who don’t fit into the old world — because they are here to change it.
I know what it is to feel different.
And I know what can happen when you stop trying to fit in and start building a life that is truly yours.
I have always been — and still am — curious:
What happens when I push the limits of my body and mind?
What happens when I question what I’ve been told is true?
What other ways of living are possible?
Were am I capable of?
I truly believe that when you dare to go where no one else goes — simply because something inside you wants to explore — that’s where aliveness happens.
Meet your mentor, Femke
I was born ten weeks premature and spent five weeks in an incubator.
My first experience of life was behind glass:
seeing the world, but not being touched.
Not fully landed, and fighting to survive.
From the 1st day in this world I needed to learn how to land in a world that feels so intense to me.
The start 1988 — A Birth Into Survival
I still remember my first time on the school playground — overwhelmed by the bigness of this world.
It felt as if I dissolved into infinity, while everyone around seem to find that normal.
I didn’t understand the social rules or why people behaved the way they did, I could feel that people were not speaking the truth….so confusing.
In the midst of it all, I found my calm in athletics.
During running competitions I became one with my body, I felt the power of my muscles and played mindgames with my opponents. I assumed everyone felt the same pain during running — until I discovered that this was why others stopped. It showed me how easily we accept something as truth.
2002- The Outsider & The Athlete
My 20s — A Drive to Change the World, A Fight to Fit In
I often triggered people without intending to, simply by being honest. For years, I thought something was wrong with me. So I made myself small, tried to be “normal,” and built a life that looked like everyone else’s on paper.
But behind the picture, I experienced some of the darker sides of life — including sexual abuse, depression, an eating disorder, burnout and panic attacks.
And still, from a young age, I felt: I am here for a reason. I am meant for something.
So I kept looking for ways to make a difference — teaching in India, South Africa and The Gambia, working on international projects and creating events in the Netherlands.
If I couldn’t understand the world, perhaps I could contribute something kind to it.
2014 The Turning Point — My way
In my late twenties, I traveled through Australia for two years.
No plan, no certainty — working on farms, living out of my station wagon and following the open road.
There, I rediscovered what I had lost along the way: my inner compass.
Financially at rock bottom, living in a parking lot, I had nothing left to lose.
So I asked myself one question: what happens if I go all in?
Since I stopped atletics to “be normal” I always had the feeling that I never really went to the edges of were I was capable of. I always wonderd what would have happend if I didn’t hold back. So on the parking place in Australia I decide this time I would choose what I wanted to experience, to go all in and see were I was capable off.
Five months later I competed in Melboure, my first natural bodybuilding competition as a backpacker.
In 2018, I became Dutch and World champion.
By the end of 2019, I was competing among the world’s top athletes in America, created my own 6-weeks trainings camp in LA(golds gym) while living in a house with a pool. I was recognized for my performance and featured in the media — Full cirkel moment.
The girl who once felt like she didn’t belong anywhere was now standing on a world stage because she made one radical choice: to do it her way.
2020–2024 Going within
Standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon after competing at the biggest natural bodybuilding competition in America, I was impressed by the power of the mountains and brought back to one question: what else is possible?
What lies beyond the discipline, focus, mind control and willpower that brought me to the world stage?
Bodybuilding had taught me how to build myself up — physically and mentally, through discipline and willpower. I had built myself into someone who could finally face the sensitive and deeply feeling parts of myself.
So I went within.
I explored my own programming and discovered the other side: surrender, creation, slowing down and feeling.
I learned to sink into my body and truly feel myself.
During this time, I opened Rooftopgym — a holistic personal training studio on the roof of my home in Amsterdam. People found me without advertising, and I began working with the body, emotions and energy in a completely different way.
Then, during the first lockdown in 2020, I chose another edge: art. What started as a way to express what I was experiencing became my second topsport — this time exploring & intuitively expressing my inner world.
And this became the next chapter: learning to fully feel life and take my place in it.
2025 Re-Birth & life force
When I had built everything, the voice of my inner truth spoke to me: "You are done here. Move on."
I left everything behind: Amsterdam, my business, loving relationships, my identity. I built my own home on wheels and surrendered to the road again.
From reconnecting with the earth in the mountains of Norway to discovering new desires, colours and pleasure in Morocco, I started opening up to a different way of living.
Somehow, all my “plans” didn’t seem to work, so I could do only one thing: surrender. I had to let go of the outcome. Instead of chasing a six-figure business, I simply am and participate where life flows and gives me sparkles. I no longer want to control or force growth. I want to be in environments where I can bloom, where I feel sparkles and feel alive. From that place, creation naturally flows; which means that right now I’m building stages and turning my camper into a big art piece with airbrushing.
So what else is possible? To be continued… ;)
Ready to get started yourself?
Inner-mastery
I need to land
Come out of survival, reconnect with your body and start living a life that feels like yours again.
Expansion
I’ve landed. My spark is back.
I am ready to build, create and expand along side a community with like minded.
